Disclaimer: The subject matter of this post is a bit adult in nature and not appropriate material for younger audiences.
I’ve been jaded regarding sex, purity and the church over the years. In my journey back on the path to a life lived for Christ I’ve had my eyes opened in some new ways, and seen both some very unpleasent realities in my life but also that there is so much that is beautiful and waiting for me now. One topic that keeps coming up (not by my choice mind you so it must be the prompting of God) is sex and sexual purity. Maybe this is because it is the single worst area of sin in my life. As I study, pray and learn, I thought I’d share what I am learning and if it does anyone else any good then it will be good.
First let me say I am no expert in anything. I have learned a little bit about a lot of things in life, and in a few areas I’ve learned a lot. I’m an oldest child so my parents cut their parenting teeth on me first and I wasn’t the easiest to raise. I was that kid that had to learn everything the hard way, sometimes more than once. I never seem to do anything halfway either, so if I am going to mess up I am going to be an over achiever.
I was not an angel in the area of sex as a teenager, evident in the fact that I gave birth for the first time at 16 years old and gave that child up for adoption. One would think I’d have learned then but like I said, I excel at making mistakes in life.
I believe we are sexual creatures, wired to find a mate and then enjoy the physical expressions of love with our significant other. The bible speaks to relationship of a husband and wife and sex. One reading through portions of the Song of Solomon and it is rather evident that sexual love is supposed to be something beautiful and enjoyed and more than just for procreation. Even I have blushed while reading those passages! The Lord takes the sexual side of our relationships very seriously. Genesis speaks of the man leaving his mother and father, cleaving to his wife, and the two becoming one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 (Amplified Bible)
24Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
1 Corinthians 6:16
16Or do you not know and realize that when a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? The two, it is written, shall become one flesh.
This becoming one flesh I always understood to be sexual, but in recent months I’ve come to understand it as far more than a sexual thing. I’ve come to understand it is a joining at the heart, mind, body and soul. But Satan takes the beautiful things of God and pollutes and perverts them. Physical love between a man and a woman certainly is near the top of that list, the porn industry alone can attest to this.
Because of how we are wired, to desire the opposite gender and mate, as we reach puberty and our hormones kick in, we begin to notice each other. I think along with the hormones the heart and soul begin to wake up too, helping to grow our desire to mate. I used to believe sex with anyone I really “loved” was acceptable. Certainly I knew what the bible had to say on the topic but I could justify that away easily, after all it is what we sinners do, we justify everything. If we saw our sin as God sees it, as filthy rags, we’d not try to justify it quite so often. I’ve read multiple studies that the ‘filthy rags’ as it is translated were rags that were used to wrap wounds, so the fabric is covered in blood, puss and disease. Not a very pretty picture. So if my sexual sins are seen that way to God, should I not stop trying to justify them and start seeing things as my Father in Heaven does? Funny what we can put out of our minds when we determine to do things our way.
Back to this joining and becoming one flesh. I have been married twice now, and despite being ‘joined’ in matrimony to my husbands, and sharing a bed and a life, I never really understood this whole being one flesh thing until recently. Oh I thought I understood it but I was so mistaken. Had I clearly understood it I would never have married either of them, let alone partaken in a lifestyle where couples are openly sharing their spouses with others. Call me a lunatic but I believe God has a mate in mind for each of us, and when we meet them we know it. The draw is powerful and nags at the core of us. I met what I believe is that man years ago but at the time was happily, or so I believed, married and turned away from what I sensed could be a destructive force to that marriage. I kept it to myself and never spoke of it, but the pull was there. Fast forward to the past few months when I reconnected with this man. I had always held him at arms length, fearing what I had felt, and wasn’t at all sure it would still be there. When he kissed me the first time I knew it was alive and well.
We connected immediately at a level that was beyond my understanding…more than physical, the stronger draw was from the heart, mind and I’d come to realize the soul. Something deep inside screamed “MINE” and is not silenced, it demands to be heard and known.
TO BE CONTINUED….