SEXUAL PURITY – Satisfying The Hunger Part 1

Disclaimer: The subject matter of this post is a bit adult in nature and not appropriate material for younger audiences.

I’ve been jaded regarding sex, purity and the church  over the years.  In my journey back on the path to a life lived for Christ I’ve had my eyes opened in some new ways, and seen both some very unpleasent realities  in my life but also that there is so much that is beautiful and waiting for me now.  One topic that keeps coming up (not by my choice mind you so it must be the prompting of God) is sex and sexual purity.  Maybe this is because it is the single worst area of sin in my life.  As I study, pray and learn, I thought I’d share what I am learning and if it does anyone else any good then it will be good.

First let me say I am no expert in anything.  I have learned a little bit about a lot of things in life, and in a few areas I’ve learned a lot.   I’m an oldest child so my parents cut their parenting teeth on me first and I wasn’t the easiest to raise.  I was that kid that had to learn everything the hard way, sometimes more than once.  I never seem to do anything halfway either, so if I am going to mess up I am going to be an over achiever.

I was not an angel in the area of sex as a teenager, evident in the fact that I gave birth for the first time at 16 years old and gave that child up for adoption.  One would think I’d have learned then but like I said, I excel at making mistakes in life.

I believe we are sexual creatures, wired to find a mate and then enjoy the physical expressions of love with our significant other.  The bible speaks to relationship of a husband and wife and sex.  One reading through portions of the Song of Solomon and it is rather evident that sexual love is supposed to be something beautiful and enjoyed and more than just for procreation.  Even I have blushed while reading those passages!   The Lord takes the sexual side of our relationships very seriously.  Genesis speaks of the man leaving his mother and father, cleaving to his wife, and the two becoming one flesh.

Genesis 2:24 (Amplified Bible)

24Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

1 Corinthians 6:16

16Or do you not know and realize that when a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? The two, it is written, shall become one flesh.

This becoming one flesh I always understood to be sexual, but in recent months I’ve come to understand it as far more than a  sexual thing.  I’ve come to understand it is a joining at the heart, mind, body and soul.  But Satan takes the beautiful things of God and pollutes and perverts them.  Physical love between a man and a woman certainly is near the top of that list, the porn industry alone can attest to this.

Because of how we are wired,  to desire the opposite gender and mate, as we reach puberty and our hormones kick in, we begin to notice each other.  I think along with the hormones the heart and soul begin to wake up too, helping to grow our desire to mate.  I used to believe sex  with anyone I really “loved” was acceptable.  Certainly I knew what the bible had to say on the topic but I could justify that away easily, after all it is what we sinners do, we justify everything.  If we saw our sin as God sees it, as filthy rags, we’d not try to justify it quite so often.  I’ve read multiple studies that the ‘filthy rags’ as it is translated were rags that were used to wrap wounds,  so the fabric is covered in blood, puss and disease.  Not a very pretty picture.  So if my sexual sins are seen that way to God, should I not stop trying to justify them and start seeing things as my Father in Heaven does?  Funny what we can put out of our minds when we determine to do things our way.

Back to this joining and becoming one flesh.  I have been married twice now, and despite being ‘joined’ in matrimony to my husbands, and sharing a bed and a life, I never really understood this whole being one flesh thing until recently.  Oh I thought I understood it but I was so mistaken. Had I clearly understood it I would never have married either of them, let alone partaken in a lifestyle where couples are openly sharing their spouses with others.  Call me a lunatic but I believe God has a mate in mind for each of us, and when we meet them we know it.  The draw is powerful and nags at the core of us.  I met what I believe is that man years ago but at the time was happily, or so I believed, married and turned away from what I sensed could be a destructive force to that marriage.  I kept it to myself and never spoke of it, but the pull  was there.    Fast forward to the past few months when I reconnected with this man.  I had always held him at arms length, fearing what I had felt, and wasn’t at all  sure it would  still be there.  When he  kissed me the first time I knew it was alive and well.

We connected immediately at a level that was beyond my understanding…more than physical, the stronger draw was from the heart, mind and I’d come to realize the soul.  Something deep inside screamed “MINE” and is not silenced, it demands to be heard and known.


Copyright © 2011 – The AirBrushed Diva/Marti Gardner – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

5 thoughts on “SEXUAL PURITY – Satisfying The Hunger Part 1

  1. First of all I’d like to say good luck on you’re quest in life and in the challenge, I hope you find you’re way home.

    I would like to ask you a few questions. I really enjoy your writing, it comes from the heart, we come from different ‘schools of thought’ but that’s fine.

    My first question is, can God make a mistake?

    My second question is can You make a mistake?

    And my last question is, if the answer is yes to either of those will this change the love you share?

    • In a nut shell for the moment (I am getting ready to go to work but I want to address this in detail when I am able):
      No God cannot make a mistake, He is perfect in all ways.
      Yes, we make mistakes, even as those saved by His grace we do make mistakes.
      No that does not change the love we share! If we are His, we desire to please Him.

      Psalm 103:13-14
      13 As a father has compassion on his children,
      so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
      14 for he knows how we are formed,
      he remembers that we are dust.

  2. I had so many thoughts while reading your posts. A flood that would take 2 hours to pour out so I’ll make it short. I share many of the same thoughts. I struggled with this idea for years. It led me to doing other sinful things simply because I was doomed to figure out the sex/love part of being faithful to God.
    It had been drilled into my head that sex before marriage was like sealing your fate for eternal purposes. But my journey has led me to these conclusions: I could/would have spared myself much heartache and guilt if I had grasp of concept of God’s love first. I would have saved myself from making the mistake of getting married then divorced 2 years later. If I had only understood the love God had for His children despite our mistakes and all those “I knew better” moments I would have loved myself more. And if I’d loved myself more over the years my life would have turned out much differently.
    My life changed when I got divorced because I was tired of being in the same unloved, undeserving, and unforgiven state of mind. after 15 years of choices I can never take back I made up my mind to search until I found the love I had been longing for along that love that comes with freedom not guilt or ties. On my journey to find it I vowed I would not date or even entertain the idea of another guy coming my way. It took me a couple years (it’s no secret I’m one of God’s slowest learners) but I eventually grasped the concept that God was my first love and when I accepted that I could love and forgive myself and others. Everything else fell into place when I put God in the right place. But growing up in church, sitting on a church pew every single sunday morning after a night of sleeping with my boyfriend, or getting wasted and then sleeping with my boyfriend…praying on occasions when i remembered too….owning a Bible on my bookshelf I rarely consulted about my life…years passed me on by.
    And the years would still be passing me by in that very same shape if I had not figured out it wasn’t about fighting the temptation of sin on our own. It isn’t about carrying the guilt of our mistakes alone. It isn’t about measuring up to others “Christian” expecatations. It’s about finding the God that loves us for us and putting Him first. He paid a great price for us to understand and experience His love the way it was intended. It was a whirlwind of a life when I figured all this out b/c out of no where I met my best friend hunk of a husband in a horrible employment situation and I’ve been blessed more than I’ll ever know! Same goes for everyone. there were lots of I’s in there simply because I was talking about my own personal journey but the same God that loves and died for me did the same for everyone under the sun!

    I have a passion for this idea maybe b/c I have 2 teenage daughters and a almost 6 year old daughter. And I can already see in the 2 oldest that the dysfunction of love starts very early in life and it gets so warped in our minds based upon what we feel, see, and experience. Loving God and then learning to love ourselves. And then giving our love away to the person that deserves it…hard thing to grasp as young girl who uses the word love in 20 different ways on 50 different occasions in a days time.

    Stay blessed and thank you for the post!
    {tara} @ undeservingrace

    • We are then 2 of the slowest of His children when it comes to learning! 🙂 This is a topic near and dear to my heart and cannot wait to share more of what I’ve learned this week! Thanks for stopping by and leaving your thoughts, I enjoyed reading them!

  3. Pingback: Fear Is The Enemy | A Prodigal Daughter's Return Home – My Spiritual Journey

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