A true brother or sister in Christ is not going to tell you want to hear, but rather what you need to hear, and they will back it up with scripture.
Sunday night I was annoyed over the email sent to my Pastor. Not the email it self, as Pastor Landis is no stranger to me, he has known me a LONG time so I’m fairly certain the fact that I am a sinner is not a shock. My annoyance was that someone who claims that their life is better off without me, that what I do and say has no bearing on them, would still be reading my blogs and Twitter feed. If I am so insignifcant why read them? Honestly having a cyberstalker is just a little creepy. My dear friend, Jane, put me back on track. The issue was not that this woman reads what I write, but that she found something written about her that was unkind, and not Christ like. Or that she assumed it was about her, as no names were mentioned. Didn’t matter who it was about, what I wrote was unnecessary for public viewing. And furthermore it was not a thought that should be in my head anyway, as those in Christ take every thought captive to Him and think only on those things that are pure, just, holy etc.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
What we as believers write, is every bit as important as what comes out of our mouths. Just as anything we say can be over heard and should be edifying and bring grace to the hearer (Ephesians 4:29), the written word doubtlessly should fall under this too. The spirit or intent of the Word of God would apply to things I post on Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare and my blogs, not just what rolls off my tongue and out of my mouth. Lord knows that this is likely my number one weakness in life. The very gift I’ve been given with writing can also be a curse when used improperly.
Another close friend sends out devotions every morning to a group of people. Today he sent the following passage, it certainly is timely:
James 3:5-10 (New King James Version)
5 Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.
See how great a forest a little fire kindles! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. 8 But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.
There is a reason this passage is highlighted in my bible, has been for years, it is my #1 weakness!
Ouch, point taken. My tweets, 3 or 4 unkind little remarks, set off a fire storm between me and the former friend. And what did it accomplish really? Nothing positive at all.
So who is to blame? Me! Which is why I apologized to her privately and pubically.
One of my readers made an excellent point on my other blog page today:
” it seems like you two just can’t seem to let go of each other – which means there’s unfinished business. If you had said everything you needed to say, when she crossed your mind – made a nasty comment-someone told you crap, you answer ‘who cares?’ because you’d know you’d said everything and there’s nothing new to tell her. Same for her. You two are locked into this because neither of you have spoken your peace (a thing that can’t be done in anger). I say write her a letter that gets out every single thing you ever wanted to say – b/c she was your friend and she obviously hurt you – and get it out of your system once and for all. Then promise yourself you aren’t going to speak her name, write her name, or respond to anything nasty she writes for 6 months. Get the devil out and lock the gate. Break the addiction. In 6 months, you’ll be over it and able to say ‘I’m not responding to anything about that/her at this point. I’m busy loving my life.’ “
Hmm.. guess it could be! Not only do I not wish to do it in anger, I prefer to sit face to face and talk it out. I believe there is unfinished business. Often the former friend used to say we were stronger together than apart. At times we were oil and water, but it is my personal belief we complimented each others personalities quite well. And I have said in blogs last year that I do miss her friendship.
SO, since I’m certain that despite what she says, she IS in fact reading my blogs and tweets still, or has someone reading them for her, I extend to her an olive branch if you will. Once years ago things came between us and we were puppeted by others into these very corners on opposite sides of the ring duking it out in words. She showed up at my door in tears with a plant and we talked it out and made up. Why? Because she CARED. And she can deny it until pigs fly, I believe that is exactly why she comes by to read and why things set her off, she still cares, as do I. So here is the olive branch:
Come have coffee with me this week, Teresa. Just you and me, on neutral turf, and lets get this out on the table and talk about it, face to face and then put it behind us. No others to influence us, no show to see, just you and me talking this out like adults and get to the bottom of what is causing all this turmoil.
The Refuge Coffee Bar
Thursday or Friday, 12:30pm, you pick the day, my treat.
Olive branch extended…..will you accept it?