At The Edge Of The Abyss…

She is sitting on the bridge, over the abyss, swinging her legs, talking out loud to herself and tossing stones into the darkness below…

“I know you are here, know that you come to look at me.”

“Are you sleeping?  I cannot sleep until the very early hours of the morning, and then it is a tormented sleep. The dreams so real I can hear the whisper in my ear, “heart, mind, body,  soul, all of you…”.  I feel the kiss on my temple.  I feel myself wrapped up in that safe place…and then I wake up.”

“there remain 3 bottles, you left them behind…I  came SO close to drinking them last night, so very close.  But then walked away…3  different times…they are still there but they finally stopped calling my name.”

“Yes, I still wear it.  Sometimes I touch it and think of you, pray for you.  I never take it off, never will.”

“Yes, the empty places are still there, they always will be, you have the missing pieces.”

“The gray hasn’t changed to blue again,  I don’t think it can anymore.”

“I tried so hard to close every door of every contact point, locked the doors tight, but your memory keeps getting past them.”

“I saw you found the one door I didn’t lock, and established that other ‘point of contact’ again. It makes me wonder…why?”

“I watch my tears  falling behind the stones, down into the  darkness….and wonder, if I let myself slip off this bridge and down into the abyss…how long will it feel like falling before sensation is gone and it feels like floating, like numbness?”

She goes back to swinging her legs, reaches for her Bible and reads and prays again….ever hoping…

“I miss you…so much….”  

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