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Psalm 51 And My Journey

After coming away from a very dark and sinful way of life, I’ve been working my way back up on to the path to God.  My friends, Jane and Dan, have embraced and wrapped around me in prayer and support.  I dearly love them and missed them so much while away from the church family.

This past Sunday, Dan gave me the book “The Way Back To God” using Psalm 51 as its basis and the story of King David.  A man after God’s heart, called that by God Himself, David slipped in his walk and fell hard into dark sin that included adultery and murder.  Yet due to his sincere repentance God forgave his horrid transgressions.  David still paid the consequences of his sins, God took his new son from him among other severe outcomes to his failure to walk without sin.  But God was merciful and restored David to Himself.

It is because of David that I know that my own walk and faith are able to be restored.  David is a wonderful example of a true, believing heart, falling into the depths of sin and yet returning to be restored in his faith and salvation.  I know that I too am forgiven.  I’ve paid a horrible price in the end of my 22 year marriage.  The sinful way in which we were living no doubt resulted in the ultimate disintegration of what was once a solid, loving relationship.  I also lost living in my home, living with my beautiful daughter and sharing in her day to day life, and all the blessings that went with residing in our marital residence.  But God’s hand never left me completely, and while I gave up so much, He is blessing me with goodness and mercy that I do not deserve.  How could I not repent, bend my knees in submission to the Most High and desire to serve and love Him as He has so loved me?

My next memory passage when I am finished memorizing Psalm 103 will be Psalm 51.  What a beautiful reminder of God’s love, grace and mercy toward His children!

Psalm 51

To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.

 1 Have mercy upon me, O God,
         According to Your lovingkindness;
         According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
         Blot out my transgressions.
 2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
         And cleanse me from my sin.
         
 3 For I acknowledge my transgressions,
         And my sin is always before me.
 4 Against You, You only, have I sinned,
         And done this evil in Your sight—
         That You may be found just when You speak,[a]
         And blameless when You judge.
         
 5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
         And in sin my mother conceived me.
 6 Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
         And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.
         
 7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
         Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
 8 Make me hear joy and gladness,
         That the bones You have broken may rejoice.
 9 Hide Your face from my sins,
         And blot out all my iniquities.
         
 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
         And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
 11 Do not cast me away from Your presence,
         And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
         
 12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
         And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
 13 Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
         And sinners shall be converted to You.
         
 14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
         The God of my salvation,
         And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.
 15 O Lord, open my lips,
         And my mouth shall show forth Your praise.
 16 For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;
         You do not delight in burnt offering.
 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
         A broken and a contrite heart—
         These, O God, You will not despise.
         
 18 Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion;
         Build the walls of Jerusalem.
 19 Then You shall be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness,
         With burnt offering and whole burnt offering;
         Then they shall offer bulls on Your altar.

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Snow….

I really try hard to dislike snow, but when it is coming down and looking so beautiful out there it is difficult to dislike it.  The current flakes are the big ones, and coming down like a snow globe at the moment.  I love that my desk is by my window so I can work and watch it coming down. 

I decided to see what the Bible had to say about snow…and don’t you know the first thing I find speaks to my heart and are passages I am very familiar with:

Isaiah 1:17-19 (New King James Version)

17 Learn to do good;
      Seek justice,
      Rebuke the oppressor;[a]
      Defend the fatherless,
      Plead for the widow.
       18 “ Come now, and let us reason together,”
      Says the LORD,

      “ Though your sins are like scarlet,
      They shall be as white as snow;
      Though they are red like crimson,
      They shall be as wool.
       19 If you are willing and obedient,
      You shall eat the good of the land;

Psalm 51:6-8 (New King James Version)

 6 Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
         And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.
         
 7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
         Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
 8 Make me hear joy and gladness,
         That the bones You have broken may rejoice.

 Okay, a good way to look at the snow, as a reminder that when washed in the blood of Christ, we are pure, whiter than snow, before the Father.  Okay okay so snow CAN be a good thing.  🙂

Memorizing God’s Word

Long ago I had set out to memorize Psalm 103.  In teaching the children at church we emphasized the need for memorizing scripture, and gave memory verses each week for them to work on.  It didn’t feel right not to work on memorizing myself so I set out to commit that Psalm to my mind.  I got to about 1/2 or 2/3s before I let my heart be numb and stopped.

This week my friend, Jane, has been staying in touch and holding me accountable in my walk.  Stan has also gently addressed some areas with me that need attention.  It is never easy to look at the areas that come up but all are in need of some work.  Jane is going to memorize the same Psalm.  It was interesting to me that we both were reading different passages in the Word this week, yet both of us were in sections dealing with our mouth or speech.  I certainly need to be guarding my mouth and the mind that drives the words that  come from it, and the heart that directs the mind.  It has come to light for me that I’ve not fully forgiven my ex-husband either, something I really need to do. 

Anyway, it is hard to meditate on what I cannot recall, so I’ll be working on getting Psalm 103 memorized in the coming days.

Psalm 103

A Psalm of David.

 1 Bless the LORD, O my soul;
         And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
 2 Bless the LORD, O my soul,
         And forget not all His benefits:
 3 Who forgives all your iniquities,
         Who heals all your diseases,
 4 Who redeems your life from destruction,
         Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
 5 Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
         So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
         
 6 The LORD executes righteousness
         And justice for all who are oppressed.
 7 He made known His ways to Moses,
         His acts to the children of Israel.
 8 The LORD is merciful and gracious,
         Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.
 9 He will not always strive with us,
         Nor will He keep His anger forever.
 10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
         Nor punished us according to our iniquities.
         
 11 For as the heavens are high above the earth,
         So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
 12 As far as the east is from the west,
         So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
 13 As a father pities his children,
         So the LORD pities those who fear Him.
 14 For He knows our frame;
         He remembers that we are dust.
         
 15 As for man, his days are like grass;
         As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
 16 For the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
         And its place remembers it no more.[a]
 17 But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting
         On those who fear Him,
         And His righteousness to children’s children,
 18 To such as keep His covenant,
         And to those who remember His commandments to do them.
         
 19 The LORD has established His throne in heaven,
         And His kingdom rules over all.
         
 20 Bless the LORD, you His angels,
         Who excel in strength, who do His word,
         Heeding the voice of His word.
 21 Bless the LORD, all you His hosts,
         You ministers of His, who do His pleasure.
 22 Bless the LORD, all His works,
         In all places of His dominion.
         
         Bless the LORD, O my soul!

Isaiah 41:10

One of my very favorite verses that got me through so many rough times in my life:

‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do  not  anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold  you with My righteous right hand.’