Our church is back to that time of year, the all church journey. From the nursery to senior pastor, we all take the journey together. All teaching, worship etc, takes on the same direction. Again this year it is called the Brave Journey. It’s about going places you haven’t before, following God out of the boat and on to the water, being brave to let Him make some change(s) in our life, our faith, our walk with Christ.
Step one is finding your heading, the direction you want to go. The direction very well may change as you go along, it is how God works. But you cannot get OUT of the boat until you get IN the boat and off of the shore.
For a while now I’ve debated writing a non-fiction book about how God found me, the faith I had, lost and now have again. The story of me. It would mean being very vulnerable, confessing things my kids know nothing of, heck few folks have a clue of the darkness, and could risk my relationship with many I love. But it isn’t really about me, it is about how God can change our lives and make something beautiful of our sin, beauty from ashes as the bible says.
My heading? Well, to write that book. I’ll publish it independently, most likely. While there is a publisher, a Christian one, interested in this story, I’d rather put it out myself. But I’ll see about that. First it must be written. It will mean pulling back the layers I’ve neatly covered things under, allowing myself to go back through the pain. It might be difficult, but it might also help other women trying to find forgiveness with God and a life away from sin. A real look without the ‘buzz’ words and special talk, a down to earth, where the soles of the shoes meet the dirt of reality, as a life trying to mend.
I’m in a small group, it is part of the whole Journey, and they are a safe place. My daughter and her husband are a part of that group, which means this could be extremely difficult. But it is time I use what I’ve been told is a talent I have, writing, to move closer to God and help others.
So, you can pray for me if you don’t mind, while I step out of the boat on a rocky sea, keeping my eyes on Christ and moving toward the next level in my spiritual walk.