After coming away from a very dark and sinful way of life, I’ve been working my way back up on to the path to God. My friends, Jane and Dan, have embraced and wrapped around me in prayer and support. I dearly love them and missed them so much while away from the church family.
This past Sunday, Dan gave me the book “The Way Back To God” using Psalm 51 as its basis and the story of King David. A man after God’s heart, called that by God Himself, David slipped in his walk and fell hard into dark sin that included adultery and murder. Yet due to his sincere repentance God forgave his horrid transgressions. David still paid the consequences of his sins, God took his new son from him among other severe outcomes to his failure to walk without sin. But God was merciful and restored David to Himself.
It is because of David that I know that my own walk and faith are able to be restored. David is a wonderful example of a true, believing heart, falling into the depths of sin and yet returning to be restored in his faith and salvation. I know that I too am forgiven. I’ve paid a horrible price in the end of my 22 year marriage. The sinful way in which we were living no doubt resulted in the ultimate disintegration of what was once a solid, loving relationship. I also lost living in my home, living with my beautiful daughter and sharing in her day to day life, and all the blessings that went with residing in our marital residence. But God’s hand never left me completely, and while I gave up so much, He is blessing me with goodness and mercy that I do not deserve. How could I not repent, bend my knees in submission to the Most High and desire to serve and love Him as He has so loved me?
My next memory passage when I am finished memorizing Psalm 103 will be Psalm 51. What a beautiful reminder of God’s love, grace and mercy toward His children!
To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.
1 Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I acknowledge my transgressions,
And my sin is always before me.
4 Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight—
That You may be found just when You speak,[a]
And blameless when You judge.
5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me.
6 Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me hear joy and gladness,
That the bones You have broken may rejoice.
9 Hide Your face from my sins,
And blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
13 Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to You.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
The God of my salvation,
And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
And my mouth shall show forth Your praise.
16 For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;
You do not delight in burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart—
These, O God, You will not despise.
18 Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion;
Build the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then You shall be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness,
With burnt offering and whole burnt offering;
Then they shall offer bulls on Your altar.