Tag Archive | pray

About Last Night…

I hate the time before you go to sleep at night
because that’s when all of the thoughts
you try to avoid for so long
start to linger in your mind


Last night I found myself up late unable to sleep. I have entirely too much on my  heart and mind, the thoughts would not quiet themselves.  Dozens of questions with no answers, and one particular person who was very heavy on my heart.  I decided to read and have some quiet time with God.  I’m working through a book by John Piper, The Passion of Jesus Christ.  The ‘chapters’ are 50 reasons why Christ came to die.  Each 1-2 pages in length so it is the perfect devotional book.   What better to go through leading up to Easter/Resurrection Sunday.  I’m also reading through the gospel of John too, and Proverbs.   I spent a while reading these before deciding it was time to close the books and quiet my heart and pray.

I did something I have not done in years…many many years.  I lit my luminary (my favorite night light), turned back my bed, shut off the lights, then instead of sitting on/in bed to pray, I opted for my knees next to the bed.  What a difference that made!  In the quiet darkness of my room, on my knees,  I was able to quiet my heart and mind to pray, and to feel that Presence that tells me I am not  alone, that I am heard and there is One that loves me and watches over me.  The awareness that my pleadings are indeed getting past the ceiling.

I used to know this closeness many years ago in the quiet  of the morning, bible, notebook and coffee and on my knees to pray.  I have  so missed that.  Back then I used to cover my head with a lace veil.  I had done an extensive study on women being veiled for prayer, their heads covered according the scripture.  I wore it for church and wore it in my personal prayer time.  When married, back when we used to pray together each night before turning in, I wore it then too.  It didn’t ‘do’ anything…except bring a hush over my spirit.  It helped to foster within me a humble heart, a quiet spirit, a mind focused completely on that time to pray. I  will be using a prayer shawl instead, just as soon as I can get one made.

It was hard on the knees, though not until I went to stand up and crawl in my bed.  I felt peace and went to sleep quickly after that,  knowing that my prayers were heard, and that no matter what comes into or out of my life, resting in the loving hands of my Creator, all is right in my world.

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Ever Seeking

Being sick derailed me a bit, I missed church 2 Sundays and a Wednesday thanks to the cold/sinus infection/flu bug…whatever that was.  But today I was there and SO thankful.  Great Sunday school lesson on eschatology and a great sermon on the two cups, one of God’s wrath and one of the blessings to the believer.  I was so thankful pastor opted to preach first today, and hold  communion until after the sermon.

I really needed to think hard about the wrath that was poured out on Christ for my sins, a cup He prayed and asked the Father if there be any other way at all to let it pass when in the garden the night before He was crucified.  God’s wrath toward our sin must be unimaginable.  Equally the cup of blessing to those that are redeemed by the blood that was spilled under that wrath, must be unimaginable.

The teaching time was very important to my considering if I take my sin too lightly.  The answer of course is yes.  I needed that  focus before  communion, to pray and refocus on my walk.  The more I seek God, the more I will see my sin for what it is and turn from it.  I will not do it perfectly.  I will slip, stumble and fall.  But I will keep brushing myself off, standing back up, and continuing to walk on the road less traveled.

Ever seeking.