Tag Archive | Sunday School

Lessons In Brokenness

angels-falling-broken-feathersToday was the first Sunday of December, which means at church it was the day to celebrate the Lord’s supper, communion.

I had gone over the things from Pastor’s email, and spent time praying during the service, and there were things I needed to confess.

In my heart I carry a root of bitterness toward my soon to be former sister-in-law.  I won’t go into details other than to say that I see her as a very evil, manipulative person.  But the Lord put it on my heart while praying about things I needed to confess, that I need to forgive her for  the perceived wrongs toward me, and pray for her daily.

During that time of prayer, thinking on the fact that Christ died for my sins…and then it hit me.  He died on that cross over 2000 years ago for my sins…sins that had yet to be committed!  Mine and everyone elses, yes, but MINE.  Sins of a woman that had never even been born!  Sins that would not be committed until nearly 2000 years later!  He died to cover the sins of all of His sheep, and those sins, so many were yet to be committed because those sinners were not even to be born for a long time to come.  How unimaginably incredible that weight must have been!  I cannot begin to wrap my head around this!

How could I not want to fall on my face and serve the Lord, the One who paid for my sins thousands of years before I’d ever walk this earth?  Sins I had not yet lived to commit?  The love the Lord Jesus has for His people is not something to be comprehended, that He was willing to die such a horrible death, suffering like we cannot begin to imagine under the weight of sins He knew would occur but were yet to happen?  It is beyond my ability to begin to understand.  Any parent understands they would take a bullet for a child…but can we imagine dying for a child or person who was thousands of years in the future???  No, we cannot.

While  in Sunday School, a passage came up that really made me think, especially during communion:

Isaiah 55

New King James Version (NKJV)

An Invitation to Abundant Life

55 “Ho! Everyone who thirsts,
Come to the waters;
And you who have no money,
Come, buy and eat.
Yes, come, buy wine and milk
Without money and without price.
Why do you spend money for what is not bread,
And your wages for what does not satisfy?
Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,
And let your soul delight itself in abundance.
Incline your ear, and come to Me.
Hear, and your soul shall live;
And I will make an everlasting covenant with you—

It really made me stop and think…What IS my focus on?  What is it I “buy” with my time and efforts?  It isn’t that it is wrong to work hard to achieve my goals, but which areas of my life are taking the priority?  My study in the Word of God? My walk with Christ?  Or is it still all about me, and things of this world that won’t last?  I need to prioritize my life, really focus on the things that last, delight in the Lord’s abundance first, then the rest of my life will take shape according to His plan for me.  I can pursue my dreams, but pray for what His will, for where I should go and trust that those paths will open up if they are His plan for my life and how I can best serve Him.

I’m thankful that I’m broken, or I’d never have returned to my Father in Heaven, the prodigal daughter, the broken angel in need of Him.

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Peppermint Coffee Musings

Peppermint coffee.  Gotta love it.  And my diffuser filling the air in my room with soothing scents of pure lavender oil, and 31 oil.  Mind and heart full of good ‘food’ from church this morning, both the Sunday School lesson and the worship sermon were great.  I’m listening to Twila Paris’s album Perennial.  Some of my very favorite hymns on are there, like Be Thou My Vision and Amazing Grace.   Her voice is so beautiful.  And the words of the songs beyond  description for me at times.  Also listening to a beautiful CD of  music from Fernando Ortega, The Shadow Of Your Wings, it is one  my friend Janie gave me when I first returned to church 2 years ago.  I need to share with her how much that has meant over the past 2 years.  The songs and hymns on it are in somewhat different arrangements than what you might traditionally hear in church.  And they have helped me many times to quiet my spirit and prepare my heart to pray, read God’s Word, or head out to worship services.

The lesson this morning was really good and spoke to me in Sunday School.  One thing that stood out was that we need to be very careful what we desire, as we just might get it and all that goes with it, good and bad.  And that what we sow we reap, no question about that.  Some call it karma, or “what goes around, comes around”.  I prefer to stick with what I know as a believer, God handles vengeance.

Psalm 7:14-16

New Living Translation (NLT)

14 The wicked conceive evil;
    they are pregnant with trouble
    and give birth to lies.
15 They dig a deep pit to trap others,
    then fall into it themselves.
16 The trouble they make for others backfires on them.
    The violence they plan falls on their own heads.

That is one really good passage, and here was another:

Proverbs 5:21-23

New Living Translation (NLT)

21 For the Lord sees clearly what a man does,
    examining every path he takes.
22 An evil man is held captive by his own sins;
    they are ropes that catch and hold him.
23 He will die for lack of self-control;
    he will be lost because of his great foolishness.

Dave pointed out, that if you sow seeds of corn in a field, you will reap corn as that is what grows from corn seeds.  If you sow beans, likewise.  And if you sow trouble, you will reap that too.  Gossip, slander, unkindness, sin….sow those seeds and that is what you will reap in return.

The trouble  with seeds is they are tiny at first.  You drop a tiny seed no bigger than a corn kernel into the soil, and a full blown corn stalk grows up with many ears filled with many more kernels of corn.  Now, think about when you plow trouble and plant seeds of iniquity, like sow gossip seeds, seeds of strife, or other seeds that are not things that will reap blessings, they reap what was sown/planted, in abundance.  That tiny seed will grow into a large plant and produce far more than you bargained.  This happened in my past.  Yes, if you go to the search section of my blogs and search the word “swinger” or “lifestyle” you will get back several posts.  I make no pretense that this is somehow a secret, I was a swinger.  And I did photos that were not good, and my kids know.  My church family knows, my friends and family all know about it.   I don’t hide these  things because others might learn from my mistakes.  It was not a good time in my life that I’m not proud of.  But it IS part of who I am today.  It goes hand in hand with the song lyrics I posted yesterday.  I will not deny the worst you can say about me, if it is true.  But I’m not the sum of my mistakes and sin.  It is in my past.  The consequences will at times  be far reaching, but that is not who I am anymore.

Now, I try hard to sow the seeds of good things.  If it isn’t nice, I just try not to say it all, and pray about the thought behind what I considered saying.  I’m not perfect, but it IS the goal I strive for now.  And I pray for those that find it necessary to sow unkindness toward me.  Letting go and not being upset by what is said about me is far easier when I do what God says and just pray for them.

Matthew 5:43-48
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. …

We are not responsible for what others do, only in how we respond.

Matthew 12:36

36 But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.

I am opting for a Christ like response.  Those that talk, tweet, Facebook or verbalize unkind things about others, will one day have to give an account for that.  And I will give one for my reaction.  My reaction now is to pray for that individual(s) every day.  I sleep solid at night because my conscience is clear, my heart isn’t full of bitterness and hatred any longer.

Coloring Outside The Lines – An Over View Of My Coloring Book

My faith stretches way back.  I grew up in the Catholic church, then when I was married at 19yo, I started attending a Evangelical Free Church.  Later I would attend a Nazarene, Conservative Baptist, Charismatic, and a church that would fall closely under the Reformed Baptist faith.  I’m back to the later.

For about 12 years, when married, I was deeply involved in our church.  I worked in the  nursery, taught junior church, Sunday School, was a youth leader, women’s outreach member…if the doors were open, we were pretty much there.  I ran the needs committee, published and printed the Sunday bulletin, the ex was chairman of the deacon board, yes we were very much involved in our church, and at the time our faith was solid.  Our marriage hit a huge bump in the road, hubby left the deacon board to focus on us, and for a while things in the marriage were outstanding  if you ask me.  And then, we slowly began to color outside of the lines as a couple.

When you color outside of the lines of marriage, you crack the foundation of your solid union.  Over time your heart begins to grow deaf to the voice of God, and turn sour toward the things that would please Him.  We began to nit-pick at everything and before long just up and left that church body.  Without someone to keep us accountable by encouraging our walk, asking us about our prayer life etc, we stopped praying as a couple each night before going to sleep, and we drifted further and further away from the narrow road.

We walked in darkness for a number of years, away from the church and our beloved church family, and participated in things I know grieved not only the Lord but friends and family that simply could not grasp what we were thinking and doing.  Many times I suggested we return to our faith, if not that congregation then another, but the then husband would have no part of it, saying the next time he attended a church would be for his funeral.  I wasn’t going to go alone, and after discussions it was pretty evident he wasn’t willing to give up our outside-the-lines lifestyle.  Keeping him became more important than what I knew was right so I focused on that lifestyle, forgetting where I had once been and who I knew I was deep down.

Once divorced, I did make an attempt to return to my faith.  It was short lived.  It is hard to return as a prodigal, even harder when so much is different.  I lasted a few months and a handful of attacks before I moved on.  Sadly, I easily let so many other things become important so that being at church was no longer a priority.

Now, I know better.  My heart has healed of the past wounds, at least for the most part. There are tender areas and scars but surprisingly little pain when I go to my knees and give it over to the One who can put the spiritual balm on those wounds that actually relieves the pain.  I walked in there Sunday starving and was fed.   Now I crave more, so tonight I will go again for the midweek gathering and have more of what I need.  This time around, I’m not at all uncomfortable there, I’m drawn there and feel more at home than ever.  I know there will come Sunday mornings when the very last thing I want to do is pull myself from my warm bed.  Those days I will have to push myself harder to be there.  I expect there may still come attacks from my enemies, but I’m okay with that too.  It isn’t about them. It isn’t even about me. It’s about Christ and what He would have me to do.  They will answer for themselves, I have to answer for me.